Thursday, June 30, 2005

Geography Lesson

Some folks think it's real appropriate that Democrat is to the west of Barnardsville. They laugh and say, "See it's to the left." Of course, it is to the right of Stockville. Nobody laughs about that. One of my friends laughs when I tell him that I live near Frosty Knob. Tells me that he figures I enjoy a cold hump.

Geography is the way we get around. We like to give things a label. If I told you I'm going over to Carter Mountain, you'd know about where I might be. Tell you I'm going up to Angel Ridge to look around and you'll tell me to have a good time.

We do the same tyhing with people. If I told you I think "Betsy Dillingham is hot" it wouldn't matter if I told you that on a cold morning in January. You'd know exactly what I mean.

Some people like to be a big secret. Maybe they have a reason. Maybe they don't. It's hard to tell. If you ask Weeny Boy Baxter where he goes at night he'll tell you "someplace quiet." We all know that means more than just away from his wife. He makes damn fine medicinal corn squeeze.

There are a few folks that like to make you think they are more important than they are by the misinformation they dole out. Take Franny Webster. She tells folks that she's engaged to a rich banker down in Asheville. She's been telling folks that since 1949. She even tells folks that she's keeping her virginity for him. Always wondered how she's hung on to that prize. Sheriff's busted her at least ten times for soliciting. I think she's gotten so used to it that she believes her own lies. In a way, I feel sorry for her. Don't get me wrong. I still think she's wronng but maybe that's all she's got in life- a bunch of lies bigger than she is.

Not me. I know where the truth lies. I tracked it down a long time ago. Caught it in a metal trap. Snap! Gotcha Sucker! Course sometimes I might pull it a bit to much. Stretches out of shape but damn if it don't snap back.

I here tell there was a big black bear and her cub came down off Carter Mountain yesterday. Heck, the tourist aren't here in force to take pictures yet. Another Kodak moment lost. Up in Alaska they call them Kodiak moments. Land of that there midnight sun. I like sleeping in the dark.