Friday, June 03, 2005

Mean Machine

"How'd you like a gizmo that can answer all of your questions?"

Sounded like an interesting question. I hoped that Hempy Stilson knew what he was talking about. So I said, "Sure."

"Already got it." He looked at me and then at the Ford 150 passing by. "That girl needs to learn how to drive."

"What do you mean I've already got it?"

"That there Internet thing you've got down at your house. I hear tell it can answer any question."

"I just happen to know that there are quite a few questions it can't answer."

"How's that?"

"Well, I asked it what the winning lottery number was going to be. It didn't give it to me."

"Hempy looked at me with a squint, "Don't say."

"I asked it how I could make my wife happy. Took it's advice and she hasn't spoken to me for a week."

"That so. Interesting."

"Asked it how to get rich quick. Another goose egg."

"Do tell."

"It hasn't helped a bit."

"Did I say it'd give you the correct answers?" Hempy winked at me. He drank from his RC cola and waved at Miss Handy driving by.