Saturday, July 09, 2005

Round here

Around here we have a bunch of sayings. They usually relate to the important things in life. Food- "makes food good enough that a dog will leave its bone." Money "so poor she ain't got a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of." The weather, "cold enough to freeze the ice off a waterfall." "Hot enough to make a Presbyterian consider changing to being a Baptist." Those kind of things.

Down in town I noticed recently that folks there seem to gravitae toward saying that deal with things of a sexual nature. "She could lick the paint off a thousand flag poles." He's hung like a bull and just as dumb."

I was trying to piece together why that might be. I guess it boils down to what seems to take importance in our lives. Out here we need to stay alive. In the city folks just want to stayed all screwed up.

Two gals came into the hardware store the other day. They was definitely not from the neighborhood. They were looking for an ax handle. Johnny Pelcher sees them standing over near the tools and offers to help. They told him what they needed and he asked polite like what size ax. One girl looked and said "Bigger the better." THe other one laughed and said size didn't matter. Old Johnny just goes on, "Well you chopping kindling wood or trees?" See he was trying to figure out what size they needed.

First girl laughs and says, "Maybe we're not chopping anything with it."

Old Johnny just says, "Well what you need with an ax handle then?"

Those gals just laughed and bought a couple of flashlight batteries. Maybe they was hoping to "See the Light."

City girls are just plain out of place in the hills. Bet they can't cook worth a lick either.

Go figure.