Saturday, December 31, 2005

Search for the holy grail

The Internet leads to new challenges. Around here we don't have many challenges except making it from day to day. A few of us still go ramp hunting in the spring. Of course the hunt for sang continues in some folks back forty. But like a lot of things in life the old ways are disappearing.

I think folks like to hunt for the hard to find. It's part of our genetics though Harv Sprinkle swears there is no such thing as genes because they aren't mentioned in the Bible. I've pointed out that over-alls aren't mentioned in the Bible either but he wears them every day except Sunday. Heck, I've even laughed and told him that man is supposd to be in God's image and if I take a look at Harv then God is a pretty ugly redneck. But back to my thought du jour.

We search. And the Internet gives us a new avenue. We can search at night when the woods are dark and cold right in the warm safety of our homes. I've taken a bit to surfing the bits and bytes looking across some of the more shall we say risque groups for an image that looks familiar. There is the lusty hope that maybe I'll catch the likeness of somebody like Annie Sprinkles, or Danyon Barber. That would be a hoot. Heck, I hear tell those two girls make quite a sight for sore eyes over at the Hooters on Kenilworth. So while the evening news is spinning across the set I'm checking out a few sites. At first I thought I'd do things like Google Search. I got this idea that those Google boys ought to set up a site called oogle. Let us look for specifics.

Anyway, there I was scrolling through images and wishing they'd get to the sports scores so I could call it a night, when an image loaded up that got my blood pumping.

You got it. The holy grail. There she was. And I knew her.

Now I know that Jimmey Tanker has himself a net connection. I knew darn good and well that his wife. Darlene, gave him one of those fancy digitalizing cameras for Christmas but I didn't think he could figure out how to take a picture and upload it so fast. Darned if he didn't though.

I looked close. Damn, I think maybe she's been drinking or something. Then I considered that maybe he didn't know about the red eye feature on the camera. Damn she has fine hams, as we call them around these parts. I wondered if Darlene knew he was posting pictures for the world to see. Now it might not be nice to say in some quarters but honestly, she's quite a pig. Not a hog so much as a pig.

That's right, Jimmey uploaded a picture of his prized pig Lula. If he ever takes a mind to slaughter her, those hams will taste mighty fine. Indeed.