Friday, February 23, 2007

Left un-said

It's hard to admit but there really are times when things are better left un-said. It's also hard to admit that I make mistakes. Heck, while I'm at it, I'm an expert at making bad decisions. The easy way out would be to say give me a couple of million "Hail Marys" and be done with the topic. But what the heck would a Buddhist do with "Hail Marys"?

I have many many interests. I have too many interests. Yesterday alone I was trying to prune a bush, find an interesting way to eat Spinach (that I hadn't tried before) working on a character in a story I'm writing, correspnding with a couple of friends, working on a data base idea for a railroad group, trying to figure out why I was getting a dead short on a certain spot of the railroad, trying to save some marginal paint for use, making a soldering tool, chopping up some leaves in the yard, reading a bit of Pynchon, perusing a railroad magazine, looking for some jazz to listen to, trying to just sit still for a moment, worry about sons and what they are doing or not doing, and wondering about friends and passing friends who have dropped off the RADAR.

Did I mention watching television, thinking about an electrical repair, realizing that I should exercise more, thinking about insulating, fixing some window glazing, and wondering whether I loaned a railroad coupler tool to a neighbor by mistake since I can't find it?

But back to the point I'm thinking about at this moment. Well, one of them.

I lose touch with people either through my misdirected effort, my lack of effort, or the fact that they too have paths they must follow. Damn we lead complicated lives. I think the power of the Internet brings that home everyday.

I have friends that I wish I could reach out and touch and damn if the net doesn't let me. But I can just as easily intrude.

I was accused of possibly intruding on a neighbor by my better half. She's probably right.


I'm out raking leaves. I notice my neighbor go out. I might have even waved, Nothing unusual yet or intrusive, right? A few moments later I see their front door wide open. Now I don't think anyone is home. I go and call inside. No answer. So I close the door. It doesn't latch until I slam it a few times. So I figure, gee if I see my neighbor I'll let him know later.

I do. He admits the door has a problem. I offer to look at it. Next thing he knows I'm going home to get my wood chisels and a metal file. While he watches I take the door catch apart and modify it. In other words, I fix his door. He thanks me. But when I report on my day at home someone asks, "are you making a pest of yourself?" Damn she can cut to the quick of it.

Probably. I mean how would I feel if my neighbor came bounding over and says "You seem to have a problem with your door. I beter fix it for you." Part of me would say thanks but part might say, "So you think I'm incompetent to do it?"

And the net allows me to be a bull in a china shop in seconds. I can jump on anyone anywhere in the world in seconds. Heck, they don't get a chance to say, "Could you help me?" Nope! I offer my opinion, my thoughts, my suggestions, my mandates and my superiority without a second thought.

Hell's bells, isn't that what I just did?

Any you didn't even ask- so could I ask you a question?

I just blathered.