Thursday, July 26, 2007

Today, Let's talk about Ugly Feet

Right now the Dow is down 350 points. That's ugly. Some might call that an ugly feat. But then I prop my toe carriers in front of my monitor. Talk about ugly feet!

I know. I know. It's all a matter of perception. I'll bet you than most folks in the world would agree with me. "Man, you have ugly feet."

Back when I was in college the skin on the bottom of my feet would crack into resemblances of the Grand Canyon. I took great mirth in using various colors of thread to stitch them together. I was overjoyed when I found pictures of the feet of Sherpa porters. They looked just like my feet. Of course those guys were hiking rocky icy trails in the Himalayas. My feet were in leather shoes.

I never grew out of dry cracked feet. I've tried every thing that medical science has suggested. I ask the doctyor on my infrequent visits. Don't tell me about pumice stone. I've got my own dedicated Dremel moto-tool with a grinding wheel. I can make them almost smooth for ten seconds. I can grind the hard spots until I'm almost burning the skin with friction.

I guess it could be worse. I could have an ugly face. Heck, I could have an ugly face and ugly feet. Of course, I haven't looked in a mirror recently.