Friday, May 27, 2005

Pig in a Pipe

Susie Blake’s pig got into the pipe under Route 19.

Around here sometimes it doesn’t take much to excite folks. Susie Blake’s pig, Pascal, was our entertainment the other day. He got out of his pen. I take that back. She got out of her pen. Pascal is a pig of the female philosophical persuasion. She was just checking things out or whatever pigs do. Lo and behold, she started looking into the pipe that sticks under Route 19. She followed her nose a bit to far.

Pascal was bigger than the center portion of the pipe. Either she grew on the way through the pipe or the pipe has been crushed a bit by the traffic.

So there she was with the traffic squealing by overhead and she was squealing inside. She couldn’t go forward and she wasn’t about to back up. Susie Blake was more than upset by the predicament. When your spareribs and piglets to be are stuck under a highway, that’s understandable.

Before you knew it folks around the county were taking to one shoulder or the other to survey the problem pig. It was a lot like politics. Some folks were on one side and some on the other side. They were screaming up into that pipe like they had the right answers. Pascal was in the middle adding to the din.

Pascal wasn’t moving in one direction or the other. Stuck in the middle. Just before the local volunteer fire folks were contemplating sinking a rescue shaft in the middle of the highway Beanie Brown ambles up with his little pellet gun. He squints into the black pipe down the barrel of the pistol and pulls the trigger.

Next thing you know old Pascal is running like a scalded dog out the pipe. Folks begin cheering. Susie is letting down a flood of tears.

Now there ought to be a lesson here somewhere.

Let’s see; Pascal said “I think therefore I am.”

Pascal got a rump full of pellets and decide that she wasn’t about to think about that too much. Maybe we just take action to save our bacon.